They watched the world turn white,

With every nimble sprite exposed

Their deep wounds flowing in the light.

The daffodils quaked violently at the sight.

The chrysanthemums fainted ill with fright.

They watched the world turn white,

But it was not yet as poets should indite:

The hemorrhagic cysts misdiagnosed,

Their deep wounds flowing in the light.

They called on their Great Judge to indict

The physicians; feeling overexposed

They watched the world turn white

And fell to shining earth as damaged kites,

(The answer to the question that they posed)

Their deep wounds flowing in the light.

They confessed half for awe and half for fright,

But found full grace then reimposed.

They watched the world turn white,

Their deep wounds flowing in the light.

Stream of Consciousness 2

One of the more remarkable things that I have been noticing is the robustness of the Christian faith. Obviously, I believe that Christianity is true, but above simple faith, I have found, more and more often, it provides a much richer picture of the nature of the world, and of human nature. Harvard psychologist William James call this sort of faith a "working hypothesis", and argued that in order to be objective and reasonable it would best be described as something one might doubt, and thereby revise into a stronger, more workable hypothesis.

This isn't to say that simple faith isn't enough for the purposes of salvation; because the Gospel is understanding that you can't love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. . .and you can't love you're neighbor as much as you love yourself - making you a sinner - and turning to Jesus, who did everything you couldn't do, then was offered as a substitutionary atoning sacrifice for your sin - and was raised to life so that you could know you are forgiven, and God is not angry with you, and has adopted you as a child of God. He then comes to live with you and shows you his power by teaching you to love people and himself. This is the only true religion, and the furthest thing from religion, in the entire world.

Is also isn't to say that those who find themselves away from faith in whatever capacity can't find some sort of meaning and purpose in their lives. The Christian worldview accounts for both the corruption in people, in the account of the Fall, and the goodness that still periodicly shines through people - in that we were all made in the image of God. It gives us a purpose for existing - to know intimately the God that arranged our genes and sustains us daily, who fills the Earth with good things for us to eat, and learn, and explore and who demonstrates his lovingkindness on those who would spit in his face through both special revelation and common grace.

I do not believe, or at least, I have not found it to be true that Christianity can answer every question, but it does illumine every issue - even if at times, as Martin Luther often alludes to, we are covered by the "darkness of faith".

Christians have to be careful not to fall into the trap of knowing something with "absolute certainty" in order for it to be true or effectual. "Let your yes be yes and your no be no." - If you don't know something, ask. If there is no answer, passionately seek it. If you need life more abundant, knock until you break the door down and take it. Violent men take hold of the Kingdom of God.

Stream of Consciousness 1

Well, I'm tired of my own excuses to write. I'm tired of trying to make things sound perfect, so I'm just going to write, stream of consciousness style until my thought process stops. This is going to be rough around the edges and otherwise, but I've already said that. I'll go back later and plug in scripture references. So let's get started:

First, I'd like to say a word about the LGBT bullying thing that has been all over the media lately. Let me start by saying that I really, really despise the behavior of some Christians that seem to have their priorities out of whack. Those that would presume to speak of things like this as judgment from God on these people for their sin need to take the speck out of their own eyes before they call someone else out on the log that's in theirs.

Seriously. Kids are dying. If you take the gospel seriously, kids are dying without an understanding of a God that loves them as they are, without preconditions. At least from my reading of scripture, we are supposed to be the ones that champion the oppressed, pray for our enemies, and provide comfort to the downtrodden.

Do I think their behavior is sinful? Sure, but no more sinful than myself. No more sinful than anyone who wears cotton-wool blends, or who lusts after women with their eyes and thereby commits adultery, or one who lies, or steals, or calls his brother foolish making himself a murderer, or sleeps around.

A pre-conversion conversation on why they shouldn't do anything undermines the simple preaching of the gospel: Jesus Christ died for our sins and was raised for our justification. He lived his life in accordance with all the rules and regulations that we could not do ourselves (namely: Loving God with all our mind, soul, heart, and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves - which is the whole Law of God), and proved himself worthy. Because of this, GOD IS NOT ANGRY WITH US and does not require us to do anything but get to know him. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF ALL OF THIS. Our ministry as Christians is nothing more than this. To introduce people to God as a person and have him teach us what we should do from then on. From there, everybody progresses differently and does the good works that have been assigned to us to do. If we add any more to the Gospel, we risk losing all of it.

All the theorizing, theology, apologetics, and application of the fact that Jesus sets people free from a self-serving bondage comes after they come. Before that, we should refrain, if at all possible, from condemning anyone who has not professed Christ, and gently correct those who continue to sin even if they do profess, and allow the preaching of the Gospel of Grace to work in people.

My apologies and arguments serve to perhaps break down barriers for people and show them that the Gospel is reasonable, but my arguments do not change people. God does.

Everyone has sinned against their own conscience and been a hypocrite.

Both believers and nonbelievers tend to use happenings like this to funnel everyone who professes anything other than what they believe as foolish, shortsighted, and destructive in their behavior or ideology need to consider their own views and what they think about people in general. Typecasting is dangerous in most of these situations. Also, a misunderstanding of how someone arrives at a given conclusion is almost a given. Christians put the cart before the horse by saying someone should do something (or stop doing something, or stop/start being a certain way) without having the motivation/reason/ability to do or not do that particular thing. Nonbelievers catch them in the act and never cease to condemn them for it - which undermines their espousal of some sort of universal altruism and highlights their egoism; and it often continues even when a believer changes their views on a subject or starts acting in line with how they are supposed to act in the first place.

Showing grace to people we don't agree with is hard for everyone, theist and atheist alike.

There is a place for meaningful discussion. There is a place for rancor - but it should be reserved for the actions and not the actors. Easier said than done. Truth should be celebrated where it is found. And we need to get practical in how we deal with people. Easier said than done.

So let's just lay it out there: People push everything on everybody all the time. Some people hate the ideas that are being pushed. Some people believe the ideas that are pushed around. Some people reject those ideas and push new ones. Some people refuse to speak of other ideas. Some people disregard all ideas. Some people theorize on what ideas could mean and their implications.

I'm glad we live in a place where all ideas can be shared, and weighed. There will always be wrong conclusions, bigots, idolaters, and self-centered people who think they are always right and have everything figured out. Sometimes this includes me.

Truth prevails.

Problem of Grace

If anyone makes the assistance of grace depend on the humility or obedience of man and does not agree that it is a gift of grace itself that we are obedient and humble, he contradicts the Apostle who says, "What have you that you did not receive?" (1 Cor. 4:7), and, "But by the grace of God I am what I am" (1 Cor. 15:10). If anyone affirms that we can form any right opinion or make any right choice which relates to the salvation of eternal life, or that we can be saved by assent to the preaching of the gospel through our natural powers without the effectual work of the Holy Spirit, who makes all whom He calls gladly and willingly assent to and believe in the truth, he is led astray from the plain teaching of Scripture by exalting the natural ability of man, and does not understand the voice of God who says in the Gospel, "For apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5), and the word of the Apostle, "Not that we are competent of ourselves to claim anything as coming from us; our competence is from God" (2 Cor. 3:5).

Adapted from The Council of Orange (529 AD)

I would almost say that the problem of grace is more of a problem to those within Christianity than the problem of evil. The very act of God that enables our belief, assures our sanctification, and commands our obedience is also the very thing that is so hard to stomach. This is largely because of pride, combined with a distortion of the image of God in us. We want to assume that our agency enables us to follow the commands of God, and thereby lay hold of our salvation through our own merits. This often leads to a checklist-and-penance mentality: the more good things we do for God, the better off we are with him and if we're not doing things right now. . .it'll be okay because we're going to do even better things to make up for what we're not doing. The problem is with action, and who exactly is acting.

Action is a sticky subject, and hard to break down because it looks different in the Christian life. It is my firm belief that the doctrine of grace does not permit inaction on the part of the believer, but enables the believer to act. This action, however, in its strictest sense, does not come naturally from the person himself, but only from Christ, who being the "Author and perfecter of our faith" (Heb 12:2) assures that we will be like him (1 John 3:2; Romans 6:5). It is God, not man, who is always working (John 5:17). Through our union with Christ, we partake in the divine work, without ultimately doing anything. Grace leads us to our work: reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18), and loving one another (John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:11-12). This is as great of an apologetic as has ever been conceived.

Accepting this grace is the start. It is sufficient to work in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9) and help us bear our afflictions. It enables us to enter into the place of rest (Heb 4) and gives us assurance that his yoke is light (Matthew 11:30), and his burden easy.

Thinking; not thinking

In thinking about my spiritual state lately, I've come to the conclusion my affections for spiritual things tend to get choked out by dwelling on things I don't often think about. It sounds rather ridiculous, but after a much needed weekend with my wife showed me, I've got some strange issues lurking around in the back of my head (like everyone else! ^_^).

I talked about how I don't often think about the past, and how it bothers me. There are other things that I think about how I don't think about them, but this is the main one. I think about this so much because I want to try and find the root of my lack of focus, but it ultimately becomes part of my lack of focus. It does make for decent poetry, and gives me fits of inspiration, but other than that, it's pretty pointless to think about why you don't often think about something too much.

Ugh. Just typing that sentence is annoying.

Anyway, the point of all this is all of this thinking keeps me from doing things I like to do or I say I want to do. I'm trying to find the button to turn it off, but it just makes it worse. This especially applies to spiritual things (like reading, prayer, talking with my wife), and other things (how people react to me, ect.).

This isn't something I have a ready answer to, so I'm not going to post a million proof texts about how I should be doing something else. I'm trying to work through it, be patient when God is silent, and try various things to break the cycle. Hopefully, a new job will be a part of this.

An E&E statement on Col 3:1-4

^_^ This is more of a placeholder until I get my next real post.

"No one longs for eternal, incorruptible, immortal life unless he is wearied of this temporal, corruptible, mortal life." - Augustine

In the earlier part of this epistle, Paul describes the privileges that we have found in Christ Jesus after we have been freed from the ceremonial law. Now, however, he fleshes out how we are to use that freedom, and how we are to live as "adopted sons". We are not free to do what we wish, but rather "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. (3:1)" So, because of these freedoms, we must strive for obedience in all things; having a proper mindset is crucial to our success in this endeavor. We are not of this world, and as we are strangers to it, setting our minds on things above, and not setting them on the things of earth (3:2) are appropriate for those who have "risen with Christ" being justified and sanctified, and having received the promise through his resurrection of our own glorification. If we are able to do these things through the power of his Spirit, we have assurance of our future glory in Christ Jesus: "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (3:3)". We have been crucified with Christ because we are those who were predestined to be conformed to his image. In this, we are dead to every sort of evil thing, vice, sin, and this world. Because of this, we do not set our affections on these things, but preach only the Crucified Christ who takes away our sin and sits at the right hand of the Father, where he as returned to prepare a place for us, that we might be where he is and that because he lives, we will live also. So, "When Christ who is your life appears. then you will appear with him in glory. (3:4)" This inescapable glory is ours in Christ, who will make our joy complete, our faith in his invisible qualities and divine power - he will show us fully with his second coming. Because he has satisfied the wrath of God, we can hope in our reward being made full.

Toys

"If Bible teachers could only remember that the 'holy men spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost' and gave us divinely inspired truth, and never for one remote moment meant to give us anything to satisfy our intellectual curiosity, they would realize that the prophets meant to give us truth to transform spirit and soul and bring us into holy living and holy believing. They never intended that we should have theological baby rattles to entertain ourselves."
- A.W. Tozer, Living As a Christian: Teachings from First Peter, p.32

This is something that I have had to struggle with for almost as long as I started to learn about God, the Bible, Christ, and any other theological thing. When I first became a "Christian," I had very little discipleship and as such my mind was left to ponder the deep things of God in a vacuum. Probably the largest errors in my early Christian life was regarding the doctrines of grace, and the Lordship of Christ.

Even while I openly professed Christ as Lord, I was basically practicing antinomianism - a distortion of Biblical Grace that allowed me to continue in my sins so long as I "rededicated" myself at some point when the guilt became too unbearable. Then, I would seek to pay penance and make empty promises about "never doing that again" to prove my commitment to someone that, in all honesty, I never wanted to exist in the first place (and I certainly wasn't living like God was real). I would ask questions like: "Is sin really harmful if it doesn't affect anything? I mean, it's not like God has struck me dead for doing anything. Does that undermine God's justice or does God just have a different sense of justice?" I was in the realm of practical atheism (and had I just admitted it, I don't think my life would have been so conflicted), but I kept pursuing theological things. After I met Jesus five years later, I came to understand that I hadn't really known anything at all.

Let me be honest: There is a large part of me that does not want anything I believe in to be true. It's because I have an internal "victim's mentality"and I try to blame my shortcomings and my doubts on everybody else. "Oh that I hadn't grown up in an Armenian family - then I wouldn't have to struggle with total depravity, limited atonement, and perseverance of the saints (doctrines which I believe to be true)." "Oh that I had been born blind, so that I wouldn't be tempted by my eyes." "Oh that I didn't have such little faith; I could have shown the world God's power by moving mountains or calling bears out to devour those who would insult me!"

Of course, when you boil it down, I'm just blaming God for things that are his right to give and not give. This plays into my learning and teaching because I often don't want the Bible to encourage holy living - I want to do whatever I desire, chalk it up to implulse/evolution/upbringing/ect. and deny that God has the power to change anything --- All while still being a force for good and doing "God's Work" in this world. My early dabblings in theology allowed me to pervert Grace into License , making "take up your cross and follow me" optional. I used the scriptures as toys and instead of letting the law of God encourage holy living, and allowing the grace that God has shown me "bring shalom" to me and give me strength against my accusers.

I have to work at this daily, as my cynical nature doesn't allow me to have blind faith.