Thinking; not thinking

In thinking about my spiritual state lately, I've come to the conclusion my affections for spiritual things tend to get choked out by dwelling on things I don't often think about. It sounds rather ridiculous, but after a much needed weekend with my wife showed me, I've got some strange issues lurking around in the back of my head (like everyone else! ^_^).

I talked about how I don't often think about the past, and how it bothers me. There are other things that I think about how I don't think about them, but this is the main one. I think about this so much because I want to try and find the root of my lack of focus, but it ultimately becomes part of my lack of focus. It does make for decent poetry, and gives me fits of inspiration, but other than that, it's pretty pointless to think about why you don't often think about something too much.

Ugh. Just typing that sentence is annoying.

Anyway, the point of all this is all of this thinking keeps me from doing things I like to do or I say I want to do. I'm trying to find the button to turn it off, but it just makes it worse. This especially applies to spiritual things (like reading, prayer, talking with my wife), and other things (how people react to me, ect.).

This isn't something I have a ready answer to, so I'm not going to post a million proof texts about how I should be doing something else. I'm trying to work through it, be patient when God is silent, and try various things to break the cycle. Hopefully, a new job will be a part of this.